During one of the most difficult times in my life, while agonizing over a major life decision, I had a dream. Like everyone else, I have had lots of dreams in my life. I have had two dreams that have significantly impacted my life and this one has had a great effect on me. Where once I was doubtful and uncertain about many things, the certainty of what Christ did for me strengthened and solidified my faith in Him.
Though I had intermittently written and journalled some prior to that morning, I made a special effort to get up and write out the dream so that I would never forget. It is doubtful that I will ever forget as it was one of the most meaningful things that I have experienced in my life. I write here about what I experienced and wrote on that morning of October 14, 2004 at 5:30 a.m. in Barranquilla, Colombia.
It’s at the end of life, I think, at least from my feeling in the dream. Many people have gone before me through a similar event. I’m bowing down almost prostrate in near darkness, weeping, with a large and wide, deep dark gulf or expanse in front of me. On the other side is a great crowd of people standing in light. Jeus is there beside me in the same position as I am. It is as if He is me. I am telling Jesus how much of a sinner I am and how much I don’t deserve His grace, mercy and sacrifice and I’m asking Him to pray for me. I am hopeless. I am utterly helpless. As I am praying to Him, He is comforting me as if to say it’s all right. It’s as if I’m totally a victim yet totally responsible for my actions.
Then Jesus begins to show me His wounds. They are large, ugly gaping wounds on his forearms and elbows. There are holes showing muscles and tendons and ligaments. It was as if at that moment the grotesque wounds become more important than anything else and the focus is on Jesus. All eyes are on Him. As He is comforting me, I reach out and touch His wounds softly. At that moment, at the very instant, everything suddenly changes. A huge wave of joy and relief overwhelm me. It is like nothing I’ve ever felt, dreamed or imagined. All of the sadness and hopelessness and helpness immediately vanish with no memory of those emotions, thoughts and feelings. There is finally complete resolution.
Instead of my sin or brokenness being seen, it’s Jesus’s wounds that are seen. What I’ve done is not what’s important anymore. No longer is there any focus on me, any idea of sin or any notion of unworthiness or any appearance of unrighteousness. There are no works to talk about, no words to say, just the sacrifice of Jesus. Everything depends on Him and Jesus becomes a substitution for me. Then, in an act of forgiveness, comfort and love, I’m allowed to get up and I’m directed on to the other side where many other people are waiting. The righteousness and sacrifice of Christ has been accepted. As I humbly join the group, I become aware that they are preparing for some great battle and getting ready to go.
That’s where the dream ends and I wake up. The dream speaks for itself. I don’t have much commentary about it, just to say that it has profoundly affected my life and I thank God for the dream.
I would love to hear about any similar or significant dreams that any of you readers have had.